Impact of unresolved grief in the workplace
R. Glenn Kelly
Public Speaker | Author | Workshop Presenter
March 01, 2016
Are you familiar with the term unresolved grief? For the most part it is not a term typically bantered around the factory floor or over by the office printer. Yet, research indicates unresolved grief is impacting U.S. Industries tremendously. Data from the CDC indicates businesses across the U.S.A. are losing over $75 Billion Dollars in revenue each year due to grief related issues in the workplace.
What is unresolved grief? The term refers to elements of emotions experienced after the profound loss which are being avoided by the bereaved for a variety of reasons, and therefore not in the healing process at all. Unresolved grief could encompass every aspect of the painful loss altogether, or isolated elements such as the harmful feelings of anger or guilt.
One might say that on day one of a tragic loss all grief is unresolved, but that is not the case. As long as the bereaved is recognizing and experiencing the emotions in some way, even in seemingly unending tears, then the healing journey has begun. There will be no prescribed time limits or stages to pass through, but to move forward in addressing each pain is a natural, healthy and preferred journey for even the newly bereaved.
Grief itself is a word describing the sorrowful and agonizing emotions that come with a loss, and for the purpose of this article, the death of a close loved one. The emotions are mostly painful, and while incredibly powerful in nature, the urge to express them can be overridden if the pain appears to be too much to bear. So too can they be hindered or avoided altogether because of the need to work for a living.
The job must go on and regardless of the amount of time the bereaved is given to handle the details of the loss, they will return to work still very early in their grief journey. For some, the immersion back into a routine can be a welcome escape from the pain. For others, especially men, it is a way to regain an element of control. The death of a loved one can often make a man feel as if he had no control over events in his life.
The reasons can be as unique to the bereaved as snowflakes and fingerprints, but avoiding or even delaying the grief process can have some very negative impacts on many levels. Not only will it adversely affect the griever, but the coworkers and the business as a whole.
Painful emotions may be suppressed, but do not go away. Instead, the bereaved will learn to live with holding back feelings of anger, guilt, regret, shame or failure at first, feeling they are controlled. Since these emotions are not being addressed, however, they will soon move from the conscious to the subconscious mind of the griever.
The subconscious is that part of the human mind that acts on the behalf of its human without need for conscious thought. It does this with the heart, commanding it to beat 100,000 times per day. So too with the lungs, drawing in 23,000 breathes at the same time. It does this and so much more without malice or ill will, simply acting with the programming that has been placed in its care.
When anger, guilt, anxiety, and many other possible emotions move back into the subconscious, they become part of that employee’s “personality,” and will begin to make themselves known without the conscious efforts or controls of the griever. The negative impacts will eventually become obvious and will show themselves in ways that will be obvious to all, except the bereaved, of course.
Sadly, this transition into an altered personality, created by unresolved grief, may take months or even years to manifest itself fully. Oftentimes when the employee’s efficiency or performance begins to decline, it is too late to stop, just as is telling the heart to stop beating. The mannerisms are now a part of the griever’s unconscious temperament.
As the declined performance and value to the company are noticed there might be attempts at progressive or remedial disciplinary actions, but once the behavior is deep in the subconscious, attempts will often end in terminating the employee. Even more unfortunate, these terminations take place so far in time beyond the loss of the griever’s loved one that grief, or unresolved grief really, is rarely considered a contributing factor.
Leading edge business leaders are beginning to understand the short and long term impacts of grief in the workplace. Companies who enlist the help of grief support specialists to spend a few short hours each quarter training managers and supervisors in supporting the bereaved will not see this type of decline in a grieving employee. Nor will they experience the impact on productivity, coworkers, and the bottom line.