Unresolved Grief in the Workplace
Are you familiar with the term unresolved grief? For the most part it’s not a term typically bantered around the factory floor or over at the office printer. Yet, research indicates unresolved grief is impacting businesses tremendously. In one grief study, over 25,000 bereaved employees were interviewed in reference to their loss influences at work. What resulted was the revelation that organizations across America lose over $100 Billion Dollars in precious revenue every year due to grief in the workplace.
What is unresolved grief? The term refers to elements of loss emotions that are
avoided by the bereft for a variety of reasons. As a result, the griever is not in the desired processes of a healthful healing process. Unresolved grief could encompass every aspect of the painful loss, or only isolated elements, such as the harmful emotions of anger or guilt.
The term Grief Work is often used to describe the processes of a healthy healing process. It is a necessary and complicated process. However, as long as the bereaved is recognizing and experiencing the emotions in some way, then the healthful healing journey is in process. There will be no prescribed time limits or stages to pass through, but to move forward in addressing each pain is paramount in Grief Work.
Grief itself is a word describing the sorrowful and agonizing emotions that come with a loss. For the purpose of this article, it refers to the death of a loved one. The emotions are mostly painful and incredibly powerful. The urge to express these emotions can be consciously and unconsciously overridden if the pain presents as too much to bear. They can also be repressed or avoided altogether when the bereaved is concerned grief emotions will interfere with the ability to work for a living.
For many, however, the job must go on. Regardless of the amount of Bereavement Leave the survivor is given, they will return to work while still very early in the Grief Work processes. The immersion back into a routine for some can be a welcome escape from the pain. For others, especially men, it is a way to regain an element of control. The death of a loved one can often make a man feel as if he had no control over events in his life, and work allows an avenue of perceived comfort.
Painful grief emotions may be suppressed, but they do not go away. Instead, the unresolved griever will learn to live with holding back such feelings as anger, guilt, regret, and shame. Since these emotions are not being addressed, however, they will soon move from the conscious to the subconscious mind. The subconscious acts one’s behalf without need for conscious thought. It commands the heart to beat an average of 100,000 times a day. It controls 23,000 averages breathes into the lungs. It does this, and so much more, without malice or ill will. It simply acts dutifully with the programming placed in it’s matrix.
Caustic emotions that have moved back into the subconscious mind often become part of a new persona for those with unresolved grief. The negative emotions begin to come out without conscious effort or control. This transition into an altered personality may take months, or even years, to fully manifest. Unfortunately, when the affected employee’s efficiency or performance begins to decline. The ill-mannerisms, much like the heart beat, are now a part of the griever’s subconscious program.
Often times, it is only when the unresolved griever’s decline in performance becomes apparent on the job that company leadership will attempt action. Unfortunately, this is often in the misguided form of progressive or remedial disciplinary action. However, the behavior is deep in the subconscious mind of the bereaved, and help should come in the form of mental health professionals.
Many organizational leaders are without a fundamental awareness of grief’s influence on the bereft and on the workplace. Disciplinary actions often fail to resolve the declining performance of one with unresolved grief. As a result, the business wrongly concludes that the only apparent choice is to terminate employment. Even more unfortunate, these terminations often take place long beyond the initial loss. With the expanse of time, unresolved grief is not often considered a contributing factor of poor performance by the employer.
Forward-thinking organizational leaders must attain at least the fundamental awareness and understanding of the adverse influences of Grief in the Workplace. This doesn’t mean becoming educated in the mental health field. There are Grief in the Workplace publications and Business Workshops designed specifically to provide the needed leadership coaching. All those who oversee personnel, from front-line supervisors to CEOs and business owners, hold a responsibility in sound stewardship of all employees.
Beyond all other good, mitigating the impacts of Grief in the Workplace for both the employee and the employer costs nothing. As a matter of fact, it also recovers hidden direct and indirect costs to precious business revenue. Further, it attracts and retains the best employees and greatly improves community and industry branding for the organization.
About the Author
An engaging, dynamic and inspirational speaker, R. Glenn’s high energy, expertise in grief and bereavement, as well as his personal experience as a grieving father and business executive are the perfect ways to bring insight and management techniques for mitigating the hidden revenue costs from Grief in the Workplace.
R. Glenn is an experienced Keynote Speaker and Workshop Presenter, mixing his own loss experience with knowledge and humor to help leaders become aware that the bereaved do not “Just Get over It.” He imparts the experience of being a former business executive and a bereaved father to provide awareness that grief is not just about the loss of a loved one. Employees can also experience profound grief after an unwanted divorce, a major change to personal health, a grown child leaving the nest, and along with so many other work site events, the death of a co-worker or company leader. Each of these can have a negative influence on work, productivity, and the bottom line.
R. Glenn has been “through the fire” of traumatic loss. His mission now is to inspire hope and healing through the experience and expertise gained after the passing of his son, Jonathan. He seeks to have others embrace the understanding that the loss of a loved one will impact a bereaved soul at home and at work. With support on the job, the griever can better move forward in the healthy healing processes. R. Glenn will inspire your leaders to build trusting relationships, decrease costs and injuries, and increase productivity through his motivational Grief in the Workplace Leadership Seminars.