11/16/2015 9:23 am EST
Dr. Jamie Turndorf (aka Dr. Love) is a psychotherapist, media personality, and bestselling author. In "Love Never Dies: How to Reconnect and Make Peace with the Deceased," she shares insights about healing relationships with loved ones who have passed on. I've found these techniques to be powerfully healing for anyone who has lost a loved one, even though I remain a true agnostic on the subject of life after death.
Jamie: Yes — I've used my grief therapy method and Dialoguing with the Departed technique with people who do not believe in an after-life and they've also experienced real healing.
Ken: Jamie, your relationship with your deceased husband Jean was extraordinarily passionate and deep, and your book describes your relationship in detail, including its continuation after his passing. You didn't just write about the healing, you also wrote about dysfunctions in the relationship, blocked points around your sexuality and his, your struggle for self-love and your early trauma. All of which just made your story more real and believable to me.
Jamie: I know on a personal level that what I call the "Old Scars" from childhood — the abuse, rejection and abandonment that I and many of us have suffered — cause us trouble in our adult relationships. As a result of these early injuries, we often feel afraid to let our intimate partners close — for fear that they will hurt us the way our parents did. Many of us are so afraid that history is going to repeat itself that we engage in a pre-emptive strike in which we push the other away before he/she has the chance to hurt, reject or abandon us. These defensive operations cause all kinds of relationship problems, problems that we often take to the grave.
In my own case, I had to wait until Jean left his body to resolve the issues that we struggled with.
Not only was it not too late to work it out, but as I explain in "Love Never Dies" I had to wait until he was out of his physical body for us to work it out… and also for me to be fully healed.
